I'm a weepy ol' mega-star fan....call me old fashioned, my darlings, but I am! I am!
It's hard to believe that we've already reached the final episode of what has undoubtedly been a landmark event in television history - the glorious return of Dame Edna to our tv screens in "The Dame Edna Treatment". It's spooky how the time flies!
Now, before some of you dedicated members of the Possum Posse cry out "But wait! There was a 7th episode filmed, wasn't there?", let me reassure your gorgeous little hearts. Yes! There was, indeed, a 7th episode filmed, but it was a special episode to celebrate Dame Edna's 50 years in entertainment. (Click here to discover more of the glamorous ways the world has been celebrating this fabulous anniversary!) My little Edna-spies tell me that this may be aired in June, so keep your eyes on the listings.
But back to the matter at hand....Episode 6 from Spa Edna:
This show was a joy from start to finish! But it almost started in disaster, Possums! As Edna made her gorgeous entrance (ahem!) in a resplendent blue feathered dress, she was horrified to discover that Spa Edna had been ransacked. She cried out "I turn my back for 5 minutes...I pop over to Switzerland to visit my money and this happens...."
Who could have been responsible? Well it turns out it was Valmai (of course!). In an hilarious nod to current events, the story was that Valmai posted a notice on MySpace for a party at the spa, and a whole host of non-entities and hoodies came to party and wrecked the place. Poor Dame Edna discovered Valmai in a drunken stupor with a bottle of date-rape drugged alcohol (she should be so lucky!).
So Dame Edna immediately called the police and reported that her inner sanctum had been violated! Hilarious!
At last, when Valmai got things tidied up, Edna was able to invite her first superstar guest to the treatment couch - Alan Alda!
This was a brilliant interview, not least because Alan Alda was having so much fun!!! Dame Edna introduced him, in typically irreverent fashion by saying, "..he's the star of MASH and other shows that, actually, I can't remember..." , and the scene was set for a lot of laughs.
Among other things, Edna's probing uncovered the fact that Alan had some emergency bowel surgery recently. She told him about her many prostate charities, in memory of her husband Norm (whom she said was the very image of Alan Alda, "except for the looks...and the wit...and the talent."). The best line came when Edna said that in fact, she started the whole "prostate movement", and then asked Alan if he thought of starting a "bowel movement"....to which he collapsed in laughter. Classic Edna!The caring and sharing continued apace, and Edna told him (in a nice way, of course!) she was never a fan of MASH, although she saw it's merits... I'm sure he appreciated her honesty. Well after all, she's a busy ol' gigastar, and she doesn't have the time to watch every little show on TV, does she?
Musical entertainment for Episode 6 was provided by gorgeous little Sophie Ellis-Bexter, whom Edna declared she had been a fan of ever since she heard "Murder on the Dance Floor"...which meant she had been a fan for about 20 minutes....Brilliant introduction!
After performing her new single, little Sophie explained that she had co-written the song. Dame Edna, never one to let the details go astray, asked "Did you write the good bits or the bad bits?"
Sophie looked gorgeous. Dame Edna noted that she's had 2 years off to have a baby, and then asked "have you had it yet???"
This gorgeous interchange was then rudely interrupted by cricketer Shane Warne, who entered the spa, beer in hand, looking for the MySpace party Valmai hosted earlier... But as he is a fellow Australian, Dame Edna quickly forgave him and he joined them on the couch.
This was a brilliant interview, as Dame Edna didn't miss a single opportunity to roast her fellow countryman over the Australian coals! She noted, for example, that " lots of sports stars let themselves go when they retire, but not you! - because you were never in great shape to begin with! "
In another exclusive revelation, we learned that someone is writing a musical about Shane's life. Edna mused the casting might be difficult: "...I mean, Pavarotti has the build, but he doesn't have the hair..." Poor little Shane didn't quite know what to say, but the audience loved every minute of it!
Another interruption came, when the police arrived to investigate Dame Edna's earlier complaint about the party. Edna, ever the caring and protective parent declared " You'll never get to know my daughter's whereabouts from me..." ...while pointing them in the right direction. Well, after all, she noted that Valmai has " been looking forward to a women's prison for years ". It was hysterical!
The final patient in treatment at Spa Edna was bumbling Boris Johnson. Sadly, even Dame Edna and her spa centre couldn't do much to help the likes of Boris Johnson. As he was rattling on about some bizarre political opinion, the camera followed the faces of his fellow guests, and their looks of confusion and utter bewilderment were absolutely fantastic - so, so funny!
Edna' opinion of Boris was made clear when she brought out his book and told the audience "..this is obtainable...you can leave your name at a bookstore... and a couple of weeks later they'll get you a copy..." Wondrous!
The crowning glory to this brilliant show was a duet featuring Dame Edna, Sophie, and the cast of Fame performing "Fame - I Want To Live Forever!"
As Dame Edna is clearly the world's most famous and popular housewife and international phenomenon, "Fame" was the perfect ending to this seminal series. It's been absolutely wonderful having Dame Edna back with us again, and there have been so many moments of absolute brilliance!!! Here's hoping the series will be out on DVD very soon - we'll let you know as soon as we see it.
And don't forget, Possums, we still have the 50th Anniversary show to look forward to. Check back often, and we'll post the details as soon as we have them.
We'll also soon have more postings with Simon's Dame Edna news. He's been a very busy ol' gigastar impersonator lately, and we have lots to tell you about!
Bye, bye for now, my darlings! Bye, bye!
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